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Blake Smith's avatar

I like Jarryd, but Unherd has a weird fixation with modern life being 'de-eroticized'... a few years ago when I wrote something for them on Tim Dean's critique of new 'consent' norms they for some reason gave it the sub-title 'all our erotic tension is being deflated' (like some reverse penis-pump)--https://unherd.com/2022/07/how-to-save-sex/ and like, the particular sexual encounter I open the essay with was, uh, 'de-eroticized', but I don't get the appeal of sweeping claims about modern life and sex as such... if anything, my experience is that grindr is much better for having genuine connections with people than the dating apps--there's a possibility of being surprised by the character of the other person and not presented on the front-end with a socially acceptable/sellable false self as one is on Tinder, Hinge etc (I have made friends from grindr hookups--and met my partner in a poetry seminar--but nothing from the dating apps lead to anything)....

As for Byung-chul Han (and likewise Badiou's book on love), this is the terminal stage of critical theory, becoming a kind of sad-sack queer theory for straight people! (and no offense to your friend Rothfeld, but it seems like she's doing likewise Leo Bersani for heteros, who are just now getting around to sex being self-shattering I guess)

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