My Wildly Original, Absolutely Essential Election Take That Will Save Democracy and Your Soul

Coping by building my brand.

The thing that 100% naturally, rationally follows writing a long-ass essay about how posting about politics on the internet warped your soul is, of course, to go directly back to posting about politics on the internet.

JK, but I am actually writing a Substack now, I guess, and I’m pretty sure nobody wants to read about anything else for the next few days, so here we are. Doing something on purpose to build your brand is better—at least more honest—than doing it because you think it’s going to save you and the world while not admitting to yourself that you are also doing it to build your brand.

I do not actually have anything interesting or worthwhile to say about the presidential election. I’m going to stick to my announced principles and not emote or pretend that this is an “existential election” or that anything will get significantly better or worse either way. (More on that below.) But since this is going to paid subscribers, most of whom are friends who might still want to hear my irrelevant, unoriginal election take, I will start off by saying that….